Thursday, October 15, 2009

Mystery woman



I have spent the last few evenings viewing old movies as my son is making them into a video. It is a fascinating experience and a fun thing to see each child enter the family home from the same hospital and then go on to the first birthday, first day at kindergarten and so on.

The first three all used the same mat when they went off to school and opened the same door when they arrived. First Jon alone and then later with little Julie in tow playing on the climbing bars. Then Julie’s turn and eight years later Jim. Jordan started kindergarten in Denver.

What is most interesting to me, however, is that I cannot relate or recognize myself in these photos. I know it is me, but I watch her curiously as if I had never met her before; she with the raccoon eyes and the teased hairdo. Who is this woman who cares for baby after baby, who skips around 8 little girls playing “duck, duck, gray duck”, who is teaching this one to swim, who presents the birthday cakes to the birthday child? And what must it be like for her to have that dark handsome man at her side painting the garage, playing with her children, laughing with her over frosting spread all over Jimmy’s face at his first birthday

After the viewing, I sit and ponder why it is that she is such a stranger to me? When did all the 15,140 days pass and why does it seem that they never occurred tho I know they did.


7 comments:

Wanda said...

Because as we age we have accumulated so many beautiful memories Bernie that it is impossible to recall them all.

You are still just as lovely...I can see her in you and you in her!

I wish I could get all my home movies on DVD's.

Wander to the Wayside said...

Yet another bittersweet post, Bernie. To celebrate and mourn, at the same time, one's past.

I'm of the age, myself, where I look at photos and ask the same questions: who is that woman and where did those years go? In your case, to be at an age where ones looks have dramatically changed from those early years, to look at photos of this younger version of you, makes it even more evocative. (no offense intended)

I don't think there's anything as evocative to our memories as photos. But what especially touched me and brought a lump to my throat, knowing the current situation with your husband, was "what must it be like for her to have that dark handsome man at her side..."

This project sounds like a real undertaking! It'll be a treasured gift to the entire family.

My Aimless Infatuation said...

My sentiments exactly.

Bernie said...

You are still there my friend, only now you have experience and many beautiful memories. Have you looked into your daughter's eyes, you and her look so much alike... beautiful post, I am not that far behind you and only hope I can be as you are, you are an inspirations to your children, family and friends.....;-) Hugs

Anita said...

I have tons of photos and videos that I wish could be organized. What a treasure we both have! I hope you will keep having pictures taken of yourself, because currently, it is who you are. And your descendants will love knowing who you were at every age.

Deb Shucka said...

Beautiful then. Beautiful now. I think time slips by too fast, and you were too busy being a terrific mom to pay attention to its passage, or to what you looked like while it was passing.

June said...

I rarely look at pictures of young June. When I do, I think, "Why didn't I know I was so pretty?" I worried so much about how I looked, and I was a knockout!
It was a different person, a different life. Not better or worse, just different.
I'm a big fan of "You aren't getting older. You're getting better."

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