Thursday, October 22, 2009

Rewards and Blessings of Children

Here we are at the Weidner Center in Green Bay for the symphony concert.

I have had the pleasure of having my son, Jim, visiting me for several weeks. It is so wonderful to have someone here with me and we have had a good time together. Though it is only temporary, I am enjoying it to the fullest. I fear I shall have a hard time going back to living alone when he goes.

When I was 23, my mom lay dying. She looked at me and told me that when I was born she was 45, and had said " I was her “olderdom’s truyst”. This was in Swedish and I think it means having someone to care for her when she would become old. As it turned out, I was the one who took care of her in her last days as she suffered a slow and painful end. I have never regretted it ever. At the time, taking care of her at home was the only option. As I had the summer off from teaching, I was the available child.

Jim is not my youngest but he is my bachelor son and is at present out of a job. He has been living in Denver for the last 15 years and has looked for a job there and is looking here. I surely would like for him to find something around here, but I guess it would be a miracle if he did. I don’t want him or any of my children to have to be my “olderdom’s truyst”.

I have betaken (how’s that for an ancient verb!)(probably not even a word) him many places. He even accompanied me to the symphony to hear Arnaldo Cohen perform Rachmaninoff‘s Piano Concerto No.2 in C Minor , one of my very favorites, and he even enjoyed it! I have been grateful to have him go to see his dad every day and so I have been given some respite from that. Bill is in a rest home 15 miles from here so I usually drive 30 miles every day.

But he needs to live his own life and that life is in Denver, I think. His publishing stuff is there (he published a hymnbook) and other musical things and he sings like an angel. So I shall enjoy him while I can and send him off when it is time.


My Aimless Infatuation said...

Oh,I know you are enjoying this(I would be). He is such a handsome thing too. I know what you mean about never regreting taking care of a parent. My Dad passed on Christmas Day '04,he was bedbound and had to be cared for like a baby. It liked 2 months being 10 years that I cared for him. It took it's toll on me in many ways but never for one second do I regret doing it. I'm the youngest and was very emotionally attached to my parents,I miss them everyday. So enjoy every minute with your son and maybe he will find work close by.

Wanda said...

Bernie you are a treasure of a mother and person...Hope your son has luck in finding a job close to you, that would mean more symphonies maybe and company when visiting your husband.


Bernie said...

I agree with Wanada only I say you are national wise, caring and loving. You gave him, wings and let him fly and when he needed to nest you brought him home and will let him fly again when the time comes.....oh you are special and he is so blessed to have you as a mom as you are to have him as a son.....hey Green Bay Packers did well last week didn't they, thought of you when they won so big......:-) Hugs

Anita said...

That is so wonderful to have your son with you! Make the MOST of his visit.

Well wishes to him in finding a job.

Deb Shucka said...

How wonderful for you both. If you were adopting, I'd be first in line.

June said...

Two very beautiful faces!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Came across you by chance. will be back. Love your spirit.

Wander to the Wayside said...

You have a knack for the bittersweet post, don't you, Bernie? What you've described is just the cycle of life, isn't it? Of course we never want our kids to have to take care of us, but in most situations that's what has always taken place. If he were able, I'm sure Jim or any of your children would be proud to be your "olderdom's truyst", and would be as faithful to your care as you were to your mother. (My gosh, 23 was such a young age to have to deal with that!)

I'm hoping for Jim to get a job close to you, but the way things are these days I'm sure he'd be glad to get a job anywhere.


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