Wednesday, September 29, 2010

GERIATRIC MAIL



Apparently a lot of people read the Obituary Column in the paper. I am getting mail that I never thought I would ever receive. Course my children say that I live in a constant state of denial--the" of course, this stuff will never happen to me", sort of thing.

People are sending me material on hearing aids of all kinds. "Do your children think you have the TV on too loud?" and "do you miss part of the conversations going on around you when you are out?"Come in for a free examination or be a part of a study we are doing on just a select number of people" Well, I like to hear a concert or watch a movie with beautiful classical music loud enough to feel like I am in the audience.

Like tonight when I watched a movie called THE TURNING POINT, a lovely ballet movie made in l977, and starring Baryshnikov and Shirley MacLaine and Anne Bancroft. It was just like being there in person and from my easy chair at that. And my children do think I have the TV on much too loud. I don't understand why. Just fine for me. Thank goodness I was home alone.

Wouldn't you love a chair lift up those stairs like Laura "because Laura loves this house? And, no, because climbing the stairs is the best exercise I get every day.

Wigs I don't need and I do think it is a little too late to buy into an annuity that will pay out great sums in 20 years. And heaven knows I don't need any sexual disfunction helpers. Viagara can keep their coupons for the right sex at least!!!!

But the ones that really interest me are the ads for the mechanized scooters. I saw some people with those at the rest home Bill was in. I wonder how fast they can go and do you suppose they give speeding tickets to drivers of those? I can't risk getting anymore tickets.

14 comments:

Anita said...

What a very appropriate and good title you've given this post!

Love your confidence in knowing what you need, don't need, like, and don't like!

EnJoy your day!

Masia Mum said...

I remember reading somewhere that the late Queen Mum had edited her own obituary and planned the details of her state funeral! Franking that seems rather "control freak" to me. I do occasionally get a community newspaper which has what my Mum used to call "Hatch 'em, Match 'em and Despatch 'em" listings - frankly I rarely read them can't see the fascination myself.

Pat said...

I winter in AZ, and I see people all the time out and about in their "scooters"! I wouldn't doubt that they could get a ticket for speeding!

Von said...

Lovely movie Bernie, Anne Bancroft always one of my favs.Scooters can't go fast enough to get aticket but by heck you can do some damage with them!

Donna said...

Funny...my kids say some of the same things to me! I think that scooters would be fun! It's getting them in a car to transport that would be a pain. You are a young thinker though and that is the best medicine. Obituaries seem to be the first thing we all look at when opening the paper. Inevitably...we will all be there one day!!

Wanda..... said...

Hi Bernie...I was just today, telling my husband to be thankful for the exercise he gets on the stairs. We have 3 levels in our home...Husband came from downstairs to the main floor, then went upstairs to the bedroom, came back down and had to go right back up for something forgotten. Well, he was a little bothered, said we needed an elevator!

We like to feel the music too, Bernie!

yaya said...

My Mom still lives in the house my Dad built in 1951 and her bedroom is upstairs... she says that keeps her limber! Of course those are the same stairs she took a flying leap off of a few years ago. (another story for another time) She just got a hearing aide and only wears it on occasion.How about all the commercials with the smiley, happy go lucky folks in their gender specific depends? Gotta love that!

Bernie said...

What a great post, I am still laughing. I, too get these types of mail and I chuckle as I read them.....I don't mind really as I don't get much mail other than junk mail.
Hope you are having a good day...Hugs

Deb Shucka said...

So, the story I'd like to hear more of is the one about all your speeding tickets. :-)

The Book Nut said...

I'm 36 and I read the obituaries! Of course I'm from a town so small that they can't find much else to write about in the paper here! :)

My Grandpa who is 93 keeps the TV so loud that it rattles the windows! But only when he has his hearing aides in! He normally hates to wear them so he just mutes the TV and relies on the closed captions. But he normally falls asleep. The other day he wanted me to stop in and hang some blinds for him. I stopped in during my lunch hour and found him sound asleep in front of the TV. I hated to wake him so I just went ahead and hung the blinds. Since he still wasn't awake I just went back to work and he didn't know I had come until that evening! :)

I've enjoyed reading this, I hope you don't mind if a youngster like me sticks around for more! :)

fiftyodd said...

I so enjoyed your last commenter. How great for a youngster to visit his 93-year old granddad. My dad is this age and how he keeps going I don't know - he has a lot of health problems and is almost blind and almost deaf. I so understand about the hearing aid thing: my dad prefers not to wear his, because he then can't wear his headphones to listen to the radio (ghetto-blasting volume). This means he also doesn't hear the phone, so spends most of the day dozing. Luckily for him, he is still in his own home, next door to my brother, so he can at least remember what everything looked like. To move him to a 'home' would kill him.

Frank said...

Bernice, you do have the TV to loud, and yes you can get tickets on a Segway. Saw a program just last night that the officer gave a DUI ticket to a guy riding one.

June said...

I have a friend who lives and dies (oops) by the daily obits. It seems a little darkish to me, as a habit, I mean.

As for the Viagra coupons, save them for your unhappily married acquaintances. I know of a woman who Viagra'ed her husband right to death! And inherited a LOT of money.

Bernie said...

Just stopped by to let you know I am thinking of you today and hope you are doing well. Do you get the beautiful Fall colors there? Most of our leaves are now on the ground but it was very pretty for a week or so. Take care my friend and have a good week, sending much love and many hugs.......:-)

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