AN OLD MEMORY

For lack of a topic for this post, I found this tidbit which I had jotted down years ago. So I m going to print it just as I wrote it then.



It is an unfinished poem I was composing as I drove the car on a trip and Bill tried to write it down. I know words are missing and we haven't refined it or got it right, but I have been carrying it in my purse for so long on an old envelope that I did copy it down to preserve it for future work.

It is about the time we were in Estes Park, Colorado and just as we were leaving I saw a car stoppd by the side of the road. I looked and a glorious herd of elk were coming down from the woods into the town. I didn't have a camera. Many more people stopped and took pictures. I almost gave one of them some money and my address and asked them to send me a shot of the scene, but I never did and have regretted it ever since.

Apparently it is quite common for there is a preserve nearby and I understand it occurs every rutting season. One lady told me in the grocery store that the elk had gathered outside their church one Sunday and they were bugeling so loudly they had to cancel the service.

That day also I saw my first white Mountain Goat high up on a sort of shelf as we went by. He stood out in the sunshine like a white god and I was thrilled at the sight of him. It was a miraculous day.

Here is my description of the Elks:

And there they emerged from the wood

Materializing where before there had been nothing.

Yet the wild things were surely and slowly

Softly picking their way down the hill

God's gorgeous four-legged creatures.

But wait! Here comes their King! Who with every movement displays

Royalty and the mantle of command;

His rack is large and has many branches

His head heavy with its weight.

No matter he is old and infirm

Deference and honor belong to him

And he knows it and glories in it

Because he knows that his strength

Lies in past victories of wars won.

This is all she wrote folks. Can you see what I saw that day?

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

Yesterday was the fourth of July--a celebration of our Declaration of Independence where among many other rights we were given was the pursuit of happiness. Some of our Middle Eastern countries are now beginning their revolutions against the tyranny of dictators and seeking the same rights as we enjoy.

So just what is happiness. Happiness is different for a lot of people. Some are happy just to have something to eat and a place to sleep. Others have to have houses with all the amenities, the supposed disappearing middle class. And still others are not happy unless they own big and multiple houses built like castles. A lot of us today would be happy to just have a job!

That is just one phase or example of what makes some people happy. We could list many more. Healthy children. Being loved by someone, having numerous friends, traveling wherever we like, being healthy which is probably foremost as none of the others matter if you are not well. Having a lifework that one enjoys and supports one's family. Certain foods one loves to eat. Losing weight. There are so many things one can think of that make us happy.

So why are so many of us unhappy? Are we getting too greedy? Do we try too hard to keep up with the Joneses? Do we forget to count our blessings instead of the bad things that happen to us? Do we take our measure of health for granted? Have material things taken over what really matters in life? The loss of a loved one. Do we forget that there is a mystery here that we cannot know.

What makes you happy? Little things like someone I know--a cold glass of beer. Being able to get up when you feel like it. Being able to even walk. The feel of the water around your body while swimming in a beautiful lake. A piece of lemon meringe pie. A surprise visit from a friend. A warm Spring rain or a lovely floaty snowfall. A dog who adores you for no reason at all.

Take a minute or two and comment on what makes you happy.

It's Called a Lifetime, Stupid

Dr. Mehmeh Oz

"The reason so many otherwise rational people don’t screen themselves for disease is not that they don’t understand the risks—they do. And it’s not even that they believe they’re somehow immune from disease or death. We all grasp that in a primal way from the time we’re very small. But even as we age, death still seems somehow remote—something that will happen at some vaguely later time and that we’ll deal with it in some hard-to-fathom way. It’s that distance that helps us cope with the idea of our mortality."

When I found this gem of philosophy I latched on to it and felt that here was a real explanation of how I had felt for a long time. Actually I have been feeling rather stupid because of my lack of realizing that there would one day be an end to our lives as we knew it. Oh, I cared for my mom when I was 23 when she suffered so and died of cancer . My dad died when I was in my 30's and my sister died when I was 56 but somehow in my mind I guess I thought Bill and I would go on forever.

He had Alzheimer's maybe (they never knew for sure) but his folks had all lived into their 90's and Bill was in good health until near the end. And we who had been one for so long were ripped apart with great pain and a lot of you know how that feels. So I just thought I would share this quotation with you because some of you might have the same problem I had. I have come to the realization that everyone has a lifetime--even stupid me. I know this sounds crazy and perhaps I haven't explained it well. But I tried. I guess you could call it an acceptance I can tolerate.

On a happier note I have included some beautiful pictures I have taken. The first two is of a garden in Shawano, Wisconsin. I have visited that garden many times in the past. Mrs. Riley says they have been there building this huge garden with every kind of flower for over 50 years. Her hands were encrusted almost with soil. No gardening gloves for her!!















These are the two mannequins Mrs. Riley has added to the garden. They are up on the porch that overlooks the garden. The mannequins really add to the ambiance of the garden.













This is my backyard flower garden with my dog Dodger blending in so well with the green grass. My son, Jim, has put out 4 bird feeders in the back yard and the other day he came home and I told him to look out and all feeders were full of cardinals a
and those redheaded redbibbed sparrows or
whatever they are called and underneath were 4
squirrels, two bunnies, and two two mourning doves. Jim said he felt like Francis of Assisi.

This is the front of my house. Jim has planted and planted, though I did the pots.

Here's Dodger on his 2nd birthday. He is a fine dog.












I leave you with the sunset over the bay. Green Bay that is.

MY KINGDOM FOR A NAIL

I am sure you all have been bombarded with return address stickers, notepads, cards, even talking wristwatches from zillions of worthy organizations and causes. If you open them and read them, some of them will break your heart and others not so much. Which makes it difficult to choose which causes you want to support.

Which exacerbates the problem more often is trying to decide which one is the legitimate representative of that particular disease or cause. There are many for my most obvious choices--cancer and Alzheimer's and the ones that help children like Boys Town, the children born with cleft palates (yup, they got me on this one too) and the blind children (talking wristwatch).

I understand that their expenses are ongoing and if you do donate to their cause, they are right back at you for more. I finally realized the Paralyzed Veterans were sending me something almost weekly and the included "gifts" were increasing. But I guess it is up to us to figure out things like that and act accordingly.

My favorite charity though is Habitat for Humanity. Here in my town, a few years ago, only women could work on the house they built. I was enraptured at this and wished to pound a few nails myself but they were working mainly on this steep roof and the things I could do had been done. But they did have a problem. The guy next door would not let them use his hose for water. Talk about a selfish old bastard. After watching and kibitzing for a while, I left after putting my name in for the next house women built and went to the drug store (my second home) and they had this tremendous sale on bottled water! Like almost giving it away. I bought up all they had left about 16 crates and brought them back to the building site. That was a fun fun thing. I know, just a blip in the radar, if that. Since then I have kept up with the organization.

Where they have helped all over the world is amazing. In addition to building new homes, they have a Microbuild Fund which they offer to those who have started a home, but lacked funds to finish it. In places that have been hit by disasters such as Japan, Sri Lanka, India, Ethiopia, Haiti, Bosnia, and here in America, they offer help with clean-up and rebuilding. The figures are astonishing. Since their beginning, they have served more than 2 million people! This is a world wide effort by many nations helping other nations.

You can sign up for more info here habitat.org.gov or Habitat.org.getinv if you are interested. As I said starting out, you all probably have your own favorite charities. Tell us what they are!

TEXAS SPRING BREAK

We left from this Spring storm which left us with 16 inches of snow in one day with thunder and lighting mixed in.

We arrived to this delightful view from the lake house toward the setting sun over the mountain, well, sort of a mountain. It reminds me of the one in Phoenix. 80 degrees and lovely. Guests visit by boat every now and then.

We went out to eat and of course we started out with the ubiquitous Margarita pictured here and it was delicious!

Here we all are at dinner--my sons and daughter and grandsons and wives and husbands--all except the two Jordans and Jim and Bill. We had wonderful food and fun.

We met these two newlyweds (well, one year anniversary really) out for a spin while I was out driving the boat around
on my last day. My grandson Jacob and his wife Chelsea.

We had a couple of cold rainy days--most unusual for Texas this time of year, so I taught some of my grandchildren how to play hand and foot. They liked it and we played for several hours.
It was fun as the boys were always trying to cheat!


And sometimes we just hung out on the balcony.

We had a visit from this Great Blue Heron. You can see how big he is by comparing him to the pots. He was a 747 when he finally flew away.

And we had this darling baby goose with his parents and fed them every day.

Jim and I taking a swim

Happiest driving the big boat!

Going really fast! It is so much fun!

Julie was supposed to take a video of when I went past, but she didn't know how to use my camera to do that so we just have the stills.

Great boat!

The end of a perfect day.

GOIN' ON A JET PLANE

We're flying! We're flying! Oh how my heart aches for all you guys that have to face all this snow and sleet and wind as I fly down to the sunny beaches of Texas to bask in the sun! It almost makes me want to stay home because I feel so bad about that. And if you believe that, I have this land down in Florida..........

By the way, I'm riding with these guys!

Really tho, I am feeling so fortunate to be able to get out of this April Christmas weather. Julie tells me it is 90 down there. That can get a mite uncomfortable so I guess I'll be living in the water for 17 days. I s'pose I have to get out sometime or my skin will get more puckery that it already is.

Well, I just had to tell all you people my good fortune. And by the way, this is my 100th post. I started in 2009 in August and I feel that I have made so many new friends. When Bill died, your comments were the ones I cherished and Julie mentioned that she noticed all the wonderful support you gave. Thank you again for that.

So I get to drive Bob's boat. No speeding tickets on the lake! By the way, the one car speeding ticket is off in May and so now I just have the one left. I think it runs another year. That was a three year one. So I have 8 points left. A lot better than the five I was going with. I've been so good driving right at the speed limit.

Got the invite to the Bellin Run today for the one mile walk. Would like to do it just one more year. Like the t-shirts.

Wonder where I will get 100 more topics to write about? Who was it? YaYa, who said she could not imagine anyone having trouble finding something to write about? Well, I do. So here's to another 100. Maybe.

IT'S ALL ABOUT SHARING

Last night I went to the symphony. Bill and I used to go to the symphony and it is rather difficult to go alone now. It was brought so poignantly to my attention last night as the senior (and I use the word senior to show that they were not what I consider old) couple I was sitting next to were holding hands to share the feelings that the music was sending to their souls. Bill and I used to do that. I almost grabbed this guy’s other hand to see if it would help my lost feeling. A tiny example of the things that bind people together.


It is called sharing. The sharing of life’s experiences over a long period of time cements a couple together that man cannot break asunder. As I look back more and more these past few months, I am remembering events, problems, joys---all becoming more vivid as time goes on.


The early years where we had a long honeymoon as Bill was teaching 100 miles away and came to me only on weekends. The time I told him of my becoming pregnant with our first child. Those early months with the first child when we were up all night trying to feed him. We were so woefully inexperienced taking one and one-half hours to get 3 oz. down him with a nipple hole so small the poor kid was sucking and sucking and not getting much. By the time he finished one feeding, soon it was time for another and we thought it had to be warm and Bill kept running to the kitchen to heat it up and I kept feeding it to him. Finally I burnt a needle and made a bigger hole and that problem was solved. Sounds so simple now but we were so afraid to make a mistake then. The book (Dr. Spock) said not to feed him too fast because then he would get colic.

All of the four children’s triumphs and failures. The decisions for running for election and the triumphant run for the Clerk of Court. The decision to go for the Judicial Administrator’s degree and the move to Denver. The loss of a job in Michigan later and his departure for Iowa for two years while we stayed in Michigan. Back to weekends again. The triumphant landing of the position in Wisconsin with his choice of three cities. Feast and famine.


The physical trials of all three boys with hernia surgeries at 7 weeks, 9 weeks and 12 weeks. The first, misdiagnosed and just being saved by calling in a new surgeon and only a few minutes. The teenage trials with scoliosis, one wearing a brace, and one having spinal surgery. Me with breast cancer and nose cancer and lung biopsy and another breast cancer and Bill with hiatal hernia surgery a few weeks after a move to Wisconsin where the doc I just met told me he had a 10% chance of living through it. Then this surgery having to be done over at the Mayo Clinic when the stitches all started to come out. And a lot more but all blessed with full recoveries. We went through it all. Sharing.


Hang in there, folks, through the good and the bad. It will be worth it in the end. Though he is gone, I have great memories and lots of them from a long life together. How I wish he were still here, but well and himself again!